JIMMY AKENA’S BICYCLES FINALLY LAUNCHED!!


Dear Ugandans,
Our president, has said “Mbu” we should not make lies in this country. “Mbu” it is tantamount to a criminal offence, and a sin too. “In other words, stating publicly that a python has no legs could land you in jail, for it has some hidden internally. Jimmy’s offence was bigger. He shamelessly walked into the town of Lira, told the unsuspecting people there that, his had superseded Monsieur Sivrac’s first bicycle invention, and that the days of manual peddling were over. Naturally, the Langies got exited.

He told them that he was going to need lots of litters of crude waragi, therefore encouraged them to invest into making it available. Mr Mulindwa, I have credible evidence that 73% of house holds in Lira hanged up their hoes, and resorted to brewing Waragi. Men, women and children alike.

The granaries dried up, shambas become bushes, and when the third generation of bicycles (Akenic”) never came, they decided to gallop the waragi down their throats them selves. Instead of the Waragi fuelling wheels, it took over from the medulla oblongata. But you see, we already had a serious problem in Lira. These people are accomplished producers of the super crude Gin, “Lira-Lira”, and they consume it as if their lives super depend on it. And not only did James accelerate an already worse situation, he indirectly ensured that it remained worse to the power of two. All for what?….votes!!
NOW THE MAN IS READY, DP JOIN IPC NOW!!
John Nsubuga
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Comments

7 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. Matek,

    Kadogo Mucubuga!

    You are really a funny fellow..Why attack culu Jimmy Akena for no good reason? The man invented a bicycle which uses ENGULI as fuel. And now you are busy making fun of the fellow’s invention on UAH!!

    Matek

  2. billie kadameri,

    John Nsubuga,

    Don’t ridicule Jimmy Akena! The Langi are creative. Before your people in Bunyoro learnt what booze was, a Lango woman called Atile was said to have created the first real booze in Uganda, made from millet and millet yeast. The local chief tasted it, became drunk, behaved funny and went to sleep. People (who were behaving like you are now), beat the woman to death thinking she had killed the local chief. The chief of course ‘resurrected’ later.

    Your Omukama Kabalega Chwa (The Luo Warrior) was said to love that booze, known as ajono in Teso or marwa in Acholi or kongo Lango in Lango.

    When Akena was in exile in Tanzania, there was a time that you would not find a single bar of soap in a whole county. Ask George Okello. The Langi went to their bush to started making soap out of the bark of a tree known locally as Ilila. It became successful and they nicknamed it Ilila Omo and even composed a song about it.

    At that time, the only way of making local gin was by using jaggery (sukari nguru) and maize. When it became unavailable during Amin’s time, the Lango village scientists went to work and discovered ways of making distilled alcohol from just cassava flour and millet yeast. That was how Lira Lira came to be. They even gave it another nickname Amin bed i lyerri (Amin, you can hold on to your trash of luxury). So Hon Jimmy Akena may have inherited the ingenuity of his ancestors.

    Leave him alone!

    Billlie

  3. john Nsubuga,

    Billie,

    Have you woken up from sleep dreaming about me strangulating you? Didn’t I say that you the Langi are the masters of brewing and drinking Liralira? Now what is it that you’re trying to educate me about? Akena inherited, inherited, heri, heri…..where is his Waragi powered bicycle the Akenic 55J?

    Wiye Obale kabisa!!

    JN

    NOW THE MAN IS READY, DP JOIN IPC NOW!!

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