I doubt whether there is such thing as an ideal parent. We just do our best. God gives you the children and gives YOU the wisdom to know how to raise them. Just listen to that Holly Spirit/Ghost and/or how your parents did it.
Whatever you disapproved of better not repeat. We all do our best, that is all. Parenting gets even harder when we have to work two three jobs to make a living and barely have time to spend with the young ones. Somehow we do it.You are a great parent and your children are blessed to have YOU. Remember we have many Ugandan kids with no parents? Just keep on doing your best and change whatever you do not want. Our children learn from us and we also learn things from them. Let us all live, laugh and love.
During my time of raising children, I established order in the home. For example, when the children came from school, first expectation was a snack, then school homework.The adult present was in charge to answer all questions and help out. After that they could go and play. When it came to dinner time, they ate what I provided. I did not provide what they loved, but what was healthy and they had to eat it. Then they had turns in dishes.
We had a dishwasher that I never used because I wanted the children to learn responsibility.We all sat in a meeting and determined how to hold the one who does not do what they are supposed to do responsible.I accepted input, but my word was final.One of the things we did is to talk to someone who does something wrong the first time. No yelling, talking and listening to what the one defiant had for a reason to fail performing. Second time was also a verbal warning. The Third one was KIBOKO, and I kept it where it was visible; so if anyone was thinking of defying they looked at its size and re-thought and did what they had to do.
Amazingly, I never had to use it on them, because they did what they had to do when they had to do it. I did not even have to warn once. Three children did what they had to do.We had family meetings to listen to each other and figure out how to improve our lives, because times change and needs change.By opening up the possibility of using Kiboko, I never had to use it.But If I had to use it;I would explain why I am using it to tell the child why they were going to be beaten.
You also do not slap the face etc, you beat the buttocks. At least that is how it was in my family. Slapping can result in head injury and look like abuse. Also a parent never yells at a child you talk to them respectfully with dignity because you got the power. Yelling belittles a parent. It is always advisable to call the child sit in a place and talk about what is bothering you the parents about his/her behavior. It is also not right or proper for husband and wife to be yelling at each other especially in front of children. Parent discussions are supposed to be in a private place with dignity not demeaning attitude and children should never hear parents fight. Those children will model what you the parents do. To this day I do not know how to yell because my parents never allowed that or did it.
Have a great and productive new week! Happy Parenting!
Assumpta Mary Kintu.