I think giving the listeners/participants chance to air out their experiences is a powerful group therapy in itself. Instead of getting consumed by anger, jealousy and the feeling of inadequacy, listening to other people’s experiences enables one to take it as it happened, many more people may have had worse experiences than ones own, that helps in the healing process. And friendship cycles develop from such gatherings where individuals get counseled.
It would be interesting if the accused men were given a hearing too. However, that doesn’t mean I disagree with what they say; I have seen similar situations happening and my wife could easily try to remember something that I did especially when we were still young.
One thing I remember about my friend in Mpigi still makes me laugh or smile, sometimes onlookers wonder why I laugh alone. My friend’s wife left him (ran away) alleging that the hubby frequented away matches more than home play.
She took one child with her and left the man with the two older children. Not much time elapsed before the man started taking his side dishes to his one roomed house that he shared with his two young daughters. When the lady returned after about two months, she found her hubby still at work but the kids were home. It was a happy reunion with some many stories told. The older girl told her mom,” Mom, you know what, dad would bring women at night, he would check if we are asleep before the women come in. Soon he would start beating those women and they cry; Mama Katta’s cried the loudest and dad would continue beating her. Those women were stupid, I would run away when he stops beating but they would wait and dad starts beating again.” It was like my wife waited to tell me what my friend did.
When I returned from work, my wife told me the story as her friend had told her. It was such fun for me that I always laughed at my friend as a woman beater. Yeah, people are crazy.
Peter Simon Okurut via the UAH forum