By Mufti Ismail Menk
1. Praise your child, even if they get 4/10 in exam, praise your child in front of others.
2. Never make your child feel that he is useless. Never favour one child on the other.
3. Every time we speak with our children speak with respect, say “thank you”, etc. Don’t use slang i.e gimmi instead say ‘please give me’; use clear words, be polite and never swear. (Prophet said, do not use slang as it will decrease your respect).
4. You need to bare in mind when your child is young that this is just a child, don’t take away there playing time by treating them like an adult. If we do this, they will rebel in life.
5. We need to assist our children to make decisions. He or she must be taught to make decisions. Acknowledge them, guide them by talking to them, if they want to go for something, organize the plan for them.
6. Whenever you have decisions to be made ask your child of his or her opinion. For example, if you are going to buy a car, ask there opinion, where they like to eat, or what colour they like for a car, this develops habit of consultancy in them.
7. Depending on the house we are living in, we would perhaps have a corner; write the name of the child there, as it be there territory. Put there certificates on wall; this makes them confident of themselves.
8. Teach your child to follow you to read salah. Lead them rather than instructing, it’s a more powerful way. What your child sees you doing they will remember forever. Start instructing them to read salah at the age of 7, this will help them and make it easy for them to follow when they reach puberty when it becomes compulsory on them.
9. We need to teach our children how to put forward their opinion, how you would disagree to a point. Don’t use swear words when you disagree on anything as this will inculcate in your child as he is watching you being aggressive. Children have much more grasping power than us and they pick up things very fast.
10. Encourage your child to ask question, and try to answer each question they ask else they will get it from a wrong source. Praise there questions at times.
11. Always fulfill your promises on to you children. Do not make big promises which you cannot fulfill; this makes them develop a habit of making false promises. If you fail to fulfill any promise, explain.
12. Very important to teach our child is how to develop skills of being a member of a group. Team work is very important; this teaches them to give chances to people in life rather always competing.
13. Make dua for your children. Even if they have gone astray, pray for them.
14. Tell them you might fail once, but never lose hope. Teach them how they should react to a failure.
15. Apologize to your child if you have made a mistake, this teaches your child to repent to Allah. Don’t rise ifs and buts when you are wrong; there are no ifs and buts when it comes to repentance.
16. Have a few surprises for your children, to praise there deed of good, give them recognition at home, that this surprise is for your so and so good you did.
17.We need to make sure that we train our children to read a portion of Quran daily, according to there capacity.
18. Tell your child repeatedly that you love them, tell them how gorgeous they are and how important they are to you, hug them, its a sunnah to kiss your children.