Category Museveni

CAMERA PROPOSAL EXPOSES M7’S OLD AGE!


Clearly the entire NRM caboodle is exhibiting advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. At the top end, the dictator is unaware that the effectiveness of good CCTV operation depends on other variables, that are nonexistent in the case of Uganda. The simplest of examples being the 24hr clear visibility, to be able to identify offenders.
That apart, where do we get reliable CCTV operators, who won’t be compromised and corrupted to misuse the systems. The level of individual criminality, and national malaise, both bi-products of Musevenism, discourage attempts to create a worthwhile CCTV functioning operation. It is only last week when we learned that some “smart” person had accessed the Makerere University IT system and went to alter student results. (The corruptness of the country is so diabolical that a corrupt person is termed “smart”!!!!)
At the medium/ lower level of NRM, comes some NRM supporters, who out of confusion think that by terrorising the people with “Wembley” type squads, the evil will just dissipate, and disappear!!!!! It’s confused.com!!
We know that some of the thugs running amok in the country are offsprings of “Wembley”. And surely it’s possible that the killer’s of Kaweesi and his two companions were these hoodlums on rampage.
Adding petrol on a combustion!!!
Ssekajja Via UAH forum

The Stella Nyanzi revolutionary journey: Vulgar politics as a method of resistance.


[By Rabba Naga, the senior Ugandan freedom struggle leader operating from within the Museveni camp – 02/04/2017]
I had decided to pretend am not hearing the Stella Nyanzi Janet Museveni discourse, yes, discourse, because that is what it is. But of a different type.
But later, I decided to briefly comment when I saw Janet Museveni, perhaps not surprising, play the way Stella wanted her to play by sacking her from her job etc.!
Many are amused as why Stella Nyanzi writes that way. I see many calling her names, mad, gay, etc., my mind tells me Stella Nyanzi is none of all those. She is sane and intelligent.
What am not sure is whether she, herself understands that what she is doing is a well-practiced method of political revolt employed throughout history. And I watched poor Janet Museveni wondering why Stella hates her etc., and saying she forgave her. Janet, like most people are preoccupied with the words used but don’t know that Stella’s method of resistance is called vulgar politics.
Vulgarity in politics is a rejection of the established political and social order. It is the overt way of rejecting the set social conventions normally set by society. It is the rejection of the so called civilised discourse whose content and usage is normally set and controlled by those with the power. Be that power wielded by the state or the church or elders etc. The bottom-line is that they are social norms used by those with authority to keep in check those they rule over.

Hence, throughout history, vulgar politics has been employed in the fight against the powerful. vulgar politics is very effective and hard to ignore. Indeed, it is an effective political tool for the oppressed.

What suprised me was seeing Mr Museveni using it like in that video where he tells his audience to “go eat their mothers something something…” Vulgar politics does not serve well those in power. It depicts them in bad light.
Yet, for the oppressed like Stella Nyanzi, it serves them well because they lure you in their trap. You cannot ignore them. And because its nasty, ugly and mean, it gets under the skin of those with authority. It provokes their raw nerves and they overreact. Its piecing. As brutal as hot lead! So, it is an effective symbol of people’s revolt.
In days preceding the French revolution, and even after, you see plenty of vulgar revolutionary rhetoric, extreme jacobinian malicious abuses etc. Maria Antoinette was ridiculed. Referred to as Austrian bitch. She was shown in cartoons as an ostrich-like penis, with legs and saddle etc.
Therefore, vulgar politics should not be merely looked at with moral lenses. It is a political tool imbued with violent revolutionary traits and totally at variance with the common pragmatist liberal ideas of political dissent. Like one writer once put it, being politically “…mean and nasty and cruel is just like guillotines….”
I doubt the Museveni oligarchy even understand what is happening, thus the Janet Museveni attempt to forgive Nyanzi. In a rebellion, people don’t seek for your forgiveness nor your understanding. Neither are they afraid of the consequences. So, your usual methods may not be effective after all.
INTERESTING TIMES

NRM HAS BUILT THE FOUNDATION FOR FURTHER DEVT


By Dr. Edward Kayondo via UAH forum

If I promise you to build a house in ten months, and you come back in eleven months and don’t see any walls or roof, you are right to say that I never kept your promise. In that respect you are right to say that NRM has not kept its promise as promised.
However if you stayed a far and all you looked for was the roof, you might miss the fact that I spent those eleven months laying a foundation and pouring concrete in the land because i found out after making that promise that the swamps go deep and the soil couldn’t hold the house.
So what was the time frame for accomplishing these points? Is NRM as a party still around to continue working on this? Are these points still relevant today as they were thirty years ago? Who is promising any alternative program? Can anyone who come after this president continue where he left other than starting again from scratch? Those are some questions that need to be answered.
You must also be aware of political jargon’s and understand that politics has no weather forecasters. You never know when it will rain or shine, so your plans are always facing bidirectional winds. Not only that there is no agreeable scale to measure progress. When a person tells you that they will bring forth democracy, create a mixed economy, without clearly giving you outcomes or time line to measure his progress from then to today you have a problem because both of you will never agree on how far he is from keeping that promise.
I am not going to score these points one by one but there is a case to make on many of them if you compare them to previous governments. However that is also not a reliable measure because times change and the societies we have now are not what we had before and our expectations now are way more than previous governments have.
To sum it up, NRM has not delivered the glory we were promised yet, but it has set up the necessary adjustments, and created an environment that can make those points a reality if the country continues its call for accountability, participation in political processes and embrace the oath of stability.

MWENDA: YOU HAVE SUNK SO LOW TO SAY M7 IS MORE TOLERANT THAN BESIGYE!


By Apangu Kennedy Fanuel

Mwendah, to suggest that Museveni’s system is more tolerant than Besigye is the climax of your irrelevance. First things first. Do you think TVO is the enemy majority Ugandans face today? TVO is an enemy to the state because it exposes their excesses and plunder of national resources by the few. This actually makes TVO a darling to the majority Ugandans whose voice you work hard to suppress.

Museveni’s system more tolerant than KB supporters? You top my list of Jokers today. Simply look at all the institutions in the country! All the institutions are working to serve the president. How would you justify invasion of courts of law by the security agencies to ‘re arrest suspects? Is there any provision in the law to act in this manner? What of the parliament that only exist by name? Aren’t they performing rituals only without any meaningful business? A kingdom was blown up by the military just last month and all you saw in that was tolerance by the Museveni regime? Mwendah, I can state that you have joined the long list of the enemy Ugandans have had.

Now, a certain king has been appointed to serve in the government in a position that does not exist in diplomatic circles and yet we know cultural institutions are supposed to be independent. If this king was an ally of Besigye, won’t we have another Kasese massacre in Uganda? Mwenda! Mwenda!Uganda is watching you. Many people in Uganda can’t afford all the meals. In my entire village no one can pay school fees in Namagunga, Buddo and many other top schools. 6bn was plundered and yet livestock and humans are suffering in the cattle corridor die to water scarcity. Do you know how many borehole this money would have drilled? Recently a certain friendly country donated rice to Uganda. Shamelessly your officials were there receiving it. Isn’t Uganda an agric economy? Is it only by description? Can’t we grow rice here in Uganda? What’s your government priority?

If your really sure that these people represent the so called Tom Okwalinga . I think you publishing this information is not a wise thing to do but running straight to police or any security agency would b a better idea . These are people who may be charged with a number of counts ranging from treason to the least cyber crime, but again I remember how money hungry you are which makes m question your source otherwise u would have just run straight to the boss himself and walk away with a golden handshake

Guys, let’s not relent. Mwendah has not burried a woman who died in Labour, a child who dies of preventable diseases, has not come across many children who have dropped out of school due to school fees, parents whose children are fighting senseless wars outside there. By the way, they are sent without parliamentary approval. He has not seen mass graves that result from mismanagement of politics.

MUSEVENI’S ROLE IN THE UBC LAND SAGA


BY SARAH NALUKENGE VIA UAH FACEBOOK GROUP

Museveni;s rubber stamp parliament and gullible Ugandans are questioning the dubious acquisition of government land by Hon. Margret Muhanga. They are simply wasting their time because land grabbing is a scheme by the Museveni regime to impoverish Ugandans while creating a small class comprised of its cronies who own everything.

Hon. Margret Muhanga is the Woman Member of Parliament for Kabarole District. She is a sister to Museveni’s boot leaker, Andrew Mwenda, Brig. Kayanja Muhanga – the 4th Div. Commander, and Maj. Henry Baguma – a historical Director under the Internal Security Organisation (ISO). She is married to Michael Mugisha the former District Chairman Kabarole and now the Executive Director of National Forest Authority (NFA). She is the Spokesperson of the regime’s defacto parliament, the NRM caucus. Before coming to the political limelight, she was a reporter with the regime owned New Vision newspaper in the late 1980s and 1990s. As a news reporter, she got closer to Gen. Kahinda Otafiire when he was the Director General of External Security Organisation (ESO). Her husband replaced Damiano Akankwasa at NFA, after the later was convicted for abuse of office by causing financial loss of 2.8 billion shillings that came to light following the theft of 900M shillings from his bedroom. Her brother Andrew Mwenda was linked to Lawyer Bob Kasango’s 7.8b pensions scam. She claims to have raised the 10.2b shillings that she used to buy the UBC land by borrowing from her brothers and selling her cows and goats.
ALLEGORY
Uganda Broadcasting Corporation (UBC) was created by the UBC Act of 2004 following the merger of former Uganda Television and Radio Uganda. It now boosts of two TV channels and five radio stations. The past “inefficient” governments that Museveni fought failed to put to use the vast property of UBC and as of 2008 it owned only 35 acres of prime land in Bugolobi alone. Earlier, some of those who has fought the bush like Col. Mushega, Gen. Koreta, Brig. Eric Mukasa and a few others had been given part of the UBC land for free. The land titles for these properties has been mysteriously missing until in 2006 when the then Secretary to the Land Commission, Elizabeth Laker started creating new titles for the remaining land and giving it away to private developers. It took the intervention of the then UBC Corporation Secretary, Francis Gimara who placed caveats on the remaining land but at a heavy cost – his was kicked out of UBC.

In 2009 Minister Karoro Okurut and Margret Muhanga requested Museveni to give them part of the land belonging to UBC so that they could build a gumboot factory that would create 300 jobs for Ugandans. Museveni gave them the land. Their company, Extreme Innovations Ltd acquired two acres of UBC land located on Kibira Road in Industrial Area. Valued at 954M shillings that was supposed to be paid at the signing of the 49 years lease, UBC transferred the said two acres to the two Directors of Extreme Innovations without paying a single cent. In June 2010, Extreme Innovations requested UBC to transfer its (E.I) interests to a Chinese company, Sino East Africa Trading Hub and it was immediately done. SINO intended to set up an administrative and export development center for displaying Chinese products. Karoro Okurut and Margret Muhanga walked away with clean billions of shillings without investing anything. Later on Muhanga claimed that the marshy property that required $500,000 to rehabilitate made no business sense. E.I Ltd was set up in August 2008, it received the lease for the said UBC land on 7th December, 2009, five days later on December 7th it put the said land on market and sold it in July 2010 to SINO. Parliament raised up in army and attempted to censure Minister Karoro Okurut. The Police’s CIID also attempted to investigate conspiracy to defraud but Karoro and Muhanga refused to appear before them. At a caucus meeting in State House, Museveni acknowledged that he had given the two UBC land after they convinced him that they intended to set up a footwear factory. He soothed MPs into abandoning the censure move claiming that he was to handle the matter through the NRM caucus. That was the end of the story and the matter died a natural death. Its this impunity that later lured Muhanga into going for another 18 acres of UBC land that is currently being questioned.

On Farady Road alone in Bugolobi, UBC owned plots 8-10, 12-16 and 18-20 from which it curved out 18 acres that it had earlier intended to use in the construction of the Bugolobi Villa project that would comprise of 89 mansions and a club house. The project that was flagged off in 2008 was supposed to have been a joint venture between UBC and a certain Kenyan company was anticipated to generate US$13M from sale of the houses. The project stalled because of failure to secure the critical clearance and also the said Kenyan partner company gave its interest to Hassan Basajabalaba. In January 2011 Hassan Basajabalabe bought the said UBC 18 acres land though he later claimed to have bought 23.1 acres. In April 2011 Basajabalaba transferred the said land to his Haba group of companies. By August 2011 when the new Executive Director of UCB protested the sale by cancelling the sale agreement, the land had in question had already changed hands with new parties such as Deo & Sons, Margret Muhanga and SINBA (K) Ltd. Consequently, Deo & Sons sued UBC for cancellation of title yet they had brought the land from Haba Group.

The High Court ruled that the sale of land by Haba Group to Deo & Sons was illegal. Haba and Deo appealed to the Court of Appeal which also upheld the High Court’s ruling adding that the same had been illegal and fraudulent. They went to the Supreme Court but before the matter could be heard, they attempted to withdraw it on grounds that they had agreed on a consent judgement whereby UBC had agreed to pay 35.5b shillings but the Supreme Court rejected the withdraw and went ahead to hear the appeal before upholding the rulings of its subordinate courts and ordering UBC to refund Haba with 11.5b shillings. Margret Muhanga claims that it was after UBC had failed to refund 11.5b shillings that Deo & Sons sold the said land to her at 10.2b shillings. She went ahead to claim that Deo & Sons belongs to some army officers that she did not name. However, Deo & Sons Properties is a Limited liability company that was incorporated in Uganda in October 2008. Its Directors are Imam Mwebesa, James Magezi and Deogratius Obeowobusingye. Haba was incorporated in June 1996 and its directors are Hassan Basajabalaba, Muzamir Basajabalaba and Aisha Murungi. Available records show that UBC sold the land to Haba on 10th January, 2014, Haba in turn sold it to Deo & Sons on the same day at 12.46 p.m who in turn also sold it to Margret Muhanga two minutes later at 12.48 p.m.

Whatever the case, Margret Muhanga will retain the land. The regime Mafias have swung into action and the parliamentary committee will have to back off and they should not expect any further cooperation from the key players. The little information that they managed to extract from Margret Muhanga in the heat of passion is all that they will end at. That is what Museveni’s ‘Hakuna Mchezo’ means. Grabbing of public land has been and will Continue to take place by regime cronies. Butabika hospital land was taken by Museveni’s children, Nakasero, Kitante, Shimoni, Kololo, Nsambya railway, Naguru KCCA etc was taken then what is special with the ongoing UBC land saga.

HOW MUSEVENI IS AWARE OF ALL THE POOR SERVICE DELIVERY IN THE COUNTRY


the upmarket acacia avenue is under deluge.

the upmarket acacia avenue is under deluge.


BY SARAH NALUKENGE VIA UAH FACEBOOK GROUP

Having started his political career as an intelligence officer and more especially in a communist background and setting, Uganda’s military dictator, Museveni values the flow of information on all aspects of public affairs right from the smallest unit at village level to the top at national level. All his decisions and policies are based on the information generated in such a way. During the Heros Day celebrations in Busoga in 2013, he asserted that he is aware of everything that happens in Uganda. In order of priority, here below are the different structures and sources through which Museveni gets to know all that is happening in the country pertaining to political, economic, social aspects.

1. Intelligence services
(a) Internal Security Organisation (ISO) has structures spread throughout the country i.e Parish (PISO), Sub-county (GISO), District (DISO), Region (RISO) and national level (Director General) who feeds Museveni.

(b) Military Intelligence – The army has units spread in all parts of the country. Every Unit has an Intelligence Officer and it has even created Zonal Intelligence Officers who man areas that have a small presence of military units. These Intelligence officers are stationed at independent units, Battalion, Brigade, Division up to the headquarters (CMI) who feeds Museveni. In their respective areas of operation, military intelligence officers gather information of political, economic and social nature on top of their military intelligence gathering role.

(c) Police- the police is spread throughout the country. At every police unit/station/post there is a department Crime Investigations and Intelligence (CIID. Traditionally, it was only Criminal Investigation Department (CID) but Museveni disbanded the intelligence branch of the police (SB) and gave the extra task of intelligence gathering to CID making CIID. The police officers in charge of CIID help their commanders to gather intelligence of crime, political, economical and social nature. This information flows from the remotest police post, to the zones, District, Regional, the police headquarters (IGP) who feeds the Museveni.

(d) State House Intelligence – this is an informal intelligence outfit that Museveni personally manages. It has a wide network and well facilitated both financially and logistically. It collects intelligence and inquires into any matter in any government sector.

(e) Army officers under NAADS – under the cover of fighting poverty, Museveni deployed army officers into the agricultural sector under the National Agriculture Advisory Services (NAADS). The purpose was to widen his intelligence gathering networks. These army officers who are spread among the population throughout the country gather intelligence of military, political, economic and social aspect. Their reporting structures are Sub-county, District, zones, region, up to the national level to Museveni’s brother, Gen. Saleh who in turn reports to Museveni.

(f) Very soon he will have another intelligence outfit crafted out of his close religious allies – the Born Again Christians.

All the above outfits gather, compile, make recommendations and submit reports inform of Special Reports, daily Situation Reports, monthly reports, quarterly reports, mid-year reports, annual reports to the sole consumer who is Museveni. Actually the release of monthly operational funds by the headquarters of the respective organisation is conditioned on submission of these reports. On the contrary, failure to submit such reports calls for serious reprimand including withholding of funding. Intelligence gathering and reporting is heightened during the electioneering period where Museveni is briefed on every aspect before he goes for campaigns in any a given area. The formal of such intelligence reports touches of:
(i) Security – crime, threats, loopholes, successes etc
(ii) political – regime performance, opposition, dirty game – sabotaging of opposition, identifying fence sitters,
(ii) social – operations of NGOs,Civil society, religious organisations, service delivery, complaints from citizens, performance of health, education, agriculture, transport etc.
(iii) Economic – revenue collection, production, infrastructure, designing sabotages schemes for opposition leaning enterprenures, etc.

2. Local Government Structures
(a) Local Council (LC) I at the village, L.C II at the Parish, LC III at the Sun-county, and L.C V at the district all gather, compile and submit information in form of reports bottom-top up to the minister of Local Government who reports to Museveni.

(b) Resident District Commissioners – are the supervisors of all government programs in the district and get reports from all the sectors in the district and fuse them into one report which is submitted to the Minister In-charge of the presidency who in turn reports either directly to Museveni or through the Prime Minister.

(c) Chief Administrative Officers (CAO) – they supervise the different departments of the civil service under that particular district. The heads of different government departments at district level compile reports which they submit to the CAO who in turn also submits to the Minister of Public Service who also submits to the Prime Ministeror and then Museveni. But even the different heads of departments at district submit reports to their regional heads who in turn submit to their line Ministers and then to the Prime Minister who finally submits to Museveni.

With the above functioning structures that gather, compile and submit periodic reports on every aspect government operations at every level and from every corner of the country, Museveni is fully aware of the whole situation pertaining to service delivery and by feigning ignorance,Museveni is just playing on the intelligence of Ugandans.

MUSEVENI RAIDS COURT AGAIN – FROM BLACK MAMBA TO KIFEESI


BY SARAH NALUKENGE VIA UAH FACEBOOK GROUP

Uganda’s military dictator, Museveni has once again raided courts of law in a wider scheme coerce judicial officers into submission as a judicial arm of his regime. Unlike the Police and Directorate of Public Prosecution (DPP) which he has fully incorporated into his dictatorial regime, the judiciary still has some pockets of judicial officers who are determined to act professionally. Like in any other African dictatorship, the Museveni dictatorship treats members of the legal fraternity are as enemies of the state simply because they ‘undermine’ his schemes of manipulating the the rule of law. Like has been the case with Journalists, the legal fraternity under Museveni has borne the brunt of the military dictator.

BLACK MAMBA

The name Black Mamba was coined by the members of the public following a nasty incident in November 2005 when Museveni deployed hooded commandos donning black T/shirts and wielding Israel made Macro Garill machine guns raided the High Court to reverse a court order. These were commando soldiers under CMI who had been trained and armed by Israel retired army officers. It was on November 16th, 2005 when the High Court of Uganda granted bail to 14 civilians whom the Museveni regime had been accusing of treason in connection with the shadow PRA rebel group and linking them to opposition leader, Dr. Besigye. Before the suspects could regain their freedom, these heavily armed commandos besieged the High Court premises taking hostage all the top brass of the third arm of the state (judiciary), the suspects, their relatives and friends and other innocent people. The commandos forcefully arrested the 14 suspects and whisked them away before slamming terrorism charges on them before the General Court Martial the following day and remanded. The act received condemnation from all corners of the globe with the donor community cutting some aid. Later in Jan 2006 the the Constitutional Court ruled that the continued trial of the 14 suspects in the military court martial was illegal and ordered for their release but Museveni simply ignored the ruling and continued to hold the suspects in detention. The matter came to pass and it did not take long for Museveni to arrange another raid a year later.
ALLEGORY
On March 1, 2007, Museveni deployed about 50 plain clothed security officers who raided the same High Court and rearrested five men whom court had just granted bail after they had spent 15 months on remand. During the scuffle, Lawyers, Journalists relatives of suspects and top judicial officers were subjected to a scuffle that left Advocate Kiyemba Mutale seriously assaulted by a senior police officer. The siege ended at around 8.30 p.m when the five victims attempted to leave the court premises in the company of the Deputy Chief Justice and the Principal Judge were brutally arrested them. They were taken to Bushenyi and Arua and charged with Murder. All the top Judicial officers condemned the act before they together with the lawyers went on strike for one week. The Minister of Internal Affairs, then Hon Rugunda described the strike as “an unwarranted decision” before adding that the government was investigating the matter and that appropriate action was to be taken after the results. Like had been the case with the 2005 raid by the Black Mambas, this incident was swept under the carpet and no one was made to account.

In July 2013, former Coordinator of Intelligence services, Gen. David Ssejusa while appearing on VOA told the world that the 2005 invasion of the High Court could not have occurred without the express authority and instructions of the highest office (Museveni). The then Chief Justice, Benjamin Odoki in an interview with The Daily Monitor said that “…….if I had been in the country, the situation would have been different. The precincts of the court are sanctified, they are sacred. Its like an embassy, you don’t go to the American Embassy and arrest anybody”.

On 9th July 2016, Museveni deployed unruly youthful urban goons to attack the second arm of government (parliament) in protest against the summoning of his police chief by the parliamentary committee on Defense and Internal Affairs. As they fiercely fought with a rival faction, the brutal police which is usually brutal against other protesters just looked on because the goons had the express authority and instructions of the highest office (Museveni). The incident was swept under the carpet and the following day Museveni organized, facilitated and deployed more goons to attack the Chief Magistrates Court at Makindye. The court was scheduled to hear a matter where Museveni’s Police chief was accused of torturing citizens and he refused to appear in court but instead he implemented Museveni’s instructions of sending goons to terrorize the trial Magistrate and advocates. The goons threatened to lynch the advocates who had taken refuge in the Chief Magistrate and had to only be evacuated by the riot police in anti riot police cars amidst manhandling by the goons leaving their personal cars behind. One Advocate who dared to escape using his personal car had his car stoned and damaged by the same goons. The police just looked on and no such goon has been arrested. The Police issued a statement commending those goons for abiding by the law “The Uganda Police Force appreciates the fact that the group of demonstrators at the Grade I Magistrates’ Court in Makindye today complied with the requirement of the Public Order Management Act (S.5) of notifying the police so as to obtain guidance and security during the demonstration.” The Chief Justice has condemned the raid on Makindye Court “…..whoever is mobilizing supporters to come and disrupt court proceedings should stop”. The Uganda Law Society has also condemned the act and threatened to compile a list of those who are torturing citizens into the book of shame before calling for an expeditious inquiry into the siege of Makindye court. This was the best statement Museveni

Whatever the case, Museveni has realized that Ugandans are hopeless, helpless and toothless and can therefore do any mischief with impunity in pursuit of his hold on power. Fellow country men and women just prepare for more serious mischief as the officers of court prepares more sweet statements.

M7 IS A LIAR!


“The problem of Africa in general and Uganda in particular is not the people but leaders who want to overstay in power.”—M7

“Some people think being in the government for a long time is a bad thing but the more you stay, the more you learn. I am now an expert on governance. African problems are a result of lack of proper research and wrong advice from outsiders.”–M7

“All European countries do not have term limits. Except US, but all the others—Britain, I think even France, certainly I know Israel. So as long as people are electing (the president) that will be the limit. And, if the people don’t want you that will be the end of the story. Therefore, it is a diversion and not a serious issue in my opinion for one to argue that term limits are necessary.”

TAMALE WAS OF LITTLE INFLUENCE IN STATE HOUSE


Folks:I have always been told that Tamale Mirundi, was a man of little or no influence than he would like us to believe. Although he was the ‘Presidential Press Secretary,’ he almost never had an audience with person he was supposed to speak on behalf.

This fact was always lost on the general public due to his(Mirundi’s) bombastic character and the coercive nature of his statements.If foreign journalists wanted to meet M7, Robert Kabushenga, was the man and not Tamale Mirundi.

Tamale Mirundi, is an old school mate of mine and Robert Kabushenga, is an old friend.I remember when he(Mirundi) was ridiculing John Nagenda, about his position and now he is “appointed” to the very position.

The man ‘Upstairs’ has a deadly sense of humor! If M7 has more than ten”Political Advisors,” what stops him(M7) from having more than two “Media Advisors?”

In his previous conversations, Tamale has despised presidential advisors calling the position a consolation dumping ground for the useless.Tamale Mirundi said those posts are there for welfare purposes. so, he is just going to pick a salary but for doing nothing.Tamale Mirundi, forgot one important aspect of politics; everybody and everyone is expendable in politics.

Ocen Nekyon Moses via the UAH forum

HUMOR:UAH’S JOHN NSUBUGA INTERVIEWS PRESIDENT MUSEVENI


This is a serialised interview.

JN- Mr President, thank you for accepting to avail your self for this interview. Let me also use this opportunity to congratulate you for having been re-elected president of Uganda, although I do not recognise your presidency.

Museveni- Thank you JN. By the way, I remember you as a boy during the 1980 campaigns and the liberation war. But what do you mean you do not recognise my presidency?

JN- There is compelling evidence that you rigged this election, Besigye received more votes than you.

Museveni- No, no, no…Besigye is misleading people and he will be arrested if he doesn’t stop. It is actually FDC that rigged in many polling stations around the country.

JN- Which polling stations?

Museveni- For example, in the north they rigged in Ginego, Jal, Macho Myamya, and Obale etc. In the east they rigged Ojame, Jadwong, Pee, Omuhongo, Siriginyi and Ejokuna. They almost rigged Ejakait polling station as well, but Kaihura prevented that in time. Here in central, they went ahead and rigged Mbaliga polling station, Banobasiru polling station, Ndimulimba, and Njochamasiro polling station. In fact we did not gather more than 20 votes at Serwajo’kwota polling station. In the West we were more vigilant so they only managed to rig Rwakitura polling station. As you can see, we’re the victims here, but alhamdulillah, we came out on top.

JN- Alhamudulillah!!!

Museveni- Yes! Seya taught me that.

JN- But the electoral commission is partisan and pro NRM, how did they manage to do that?

Museveni- They were assisted by the conservatives in the UK to print fake ballot papers. We know this.

JN- Lets talk about your rap or crap song as some people call it. Whose idea was it, and how come you claim originality for a song that has been around for more than a century?

Museveni- Oh! actually it was Janet’s idea although I took all the credit. The idea was to educate our youth about product value addition. You see, this song had been exported from Ankore to other parts of Uganda in its raw form for many years. So we added value to it and you saw the results.

JN- How was that supposed to educate the youth about product value addition?

Museveni- I think it was another way of telling them that it is possible to sell sand in the Sahara.

JN- But Otafire publicly called it a “Mavi ya kuku” crap song.

Museveni- No, no, no…what Kahinda proposed in the NRM caucus was that we add those lyrics in the song, to make it national anthem material, but we disagreed on the modality.

JN- What was the disagreement about exactly?

Museveni- I did not attend that meeting my self, but Tamale Mirundi can clarify.

Tamale Mirundi- Mr. pulezidenti, samu membazi insisitedi we insert those words into the song vertically…ie. “Mavi ya kuku” but athazi were saying we do it horizontally….”kuku ya mavi” for example.

JN- Only that?

Museveni- He also felt the song had the potential to become our national anthem, so we forwarded the matter to different party organs for scrutiny.

JN-Why didn’t you record a full album?

Museveni- But it was a full album of one song. I intend to release ten more albums this year to complement the first one.

JN- Ten!!…how are you going to do that in one year?

Museveni- In the second album for example, we shall record the same song backwards. In the third album, I’ll recycle only one line……”kati karara, karara, kati karara x 89 times emphasising the “Rrrrrrrrrr”……..” and crap like that. Eddy Kenzo will assist us with all that.

JN- Mr president, people say you’ve failed to create jobs 25yrs down the road, what do you say about that?

Museveni- Those are lies spread by FDC. How can any body say we’ve not created jobs when companies like MTN, Uchumi, Nakumat, Airtel, Kiboko squad and Kalangala action plan are all recruiting NRM youth? Under the NRM government, we’ve discovered oil and paper ore which we did by adding DDT to paper and some other herbs from Ntungamo.

JN- What is paper ore used for?

Museveni- It is the main ingredient in the production of heart monitoring equipment for hospitals. Last year I directed that we use them our selves at Mulago hospital and that explains why heart related deaths have declined drastically form 2000 a year to only 1997.

JN- But it is said that all these business are owned by your family, disguised as private business owned by foreign investors. They exploit the poor who have become poorer since 1986.

Museveni- JN, I agree, but the bible says…. “Thou who haveth will be giveneth more, but ye who haveneth not, even the little thou owneth shall be takeneth awayeth from themeth”. That is why Haji Kigongo and Seya Ssebaggala are with me because they believe in the same doctrine. I hope that answers your question.

JN- Seya was jailed some years back for money laundering in the USA and he is also on record for embezzling public funds here in Uganda. Is he your friend..

Museveni- Oh!!..no, no, no!…Seya is merely an NRM associate but not a friend of mine. But we have things in common, for example, we both don’t eat pork nor do we drink alcohol, I think that allows us to work well together.

JN- Do you trust him?

Museveni- Yes of course, because with him, maximum secrecy is ensured, unlike people like Mahogany.

JN- Mr president, what do you mean when you talk about “secrecy”?

Museveni- I conduct all my meetings with Seya in English, so there is no chance for leakage. You know the media here would be spreading rumours that I will never retire.

JN- Are you a life president?

Museveni- Ohhh! please!…Now that Besigye is no longer going to seek another mandate with in FDC, there is no threat to the country and the NRM. I’m going to retire ASAP.

JN- When Mr president?

Museveni- Not later than 2062, but if you people push me too hard, agakatonda muguru nyowe naza kubahereza ebifunguro bya state house such that I go to Rwakitura and look after my cows. (I swear to God I’m going to hand over the keys)

JN- Laugh….and laugh again….Mr president, do you expect to live that long?

Museveni- Please do not focus on one individual only “Museveni” when there is a long queue of other capable Ugandans waiting as well. For example, I’ve heard that this young man, Muhwezi is also interested. The other day I was at my daughter’s church, and there was a rumour going on that another Ugandan…I think it is Janet Kataha Museveni who might be considering sacrificing her self for the nation AGAIN. Although we’re opposed to the idea, we also acknowledge that we’re a family that sacrifices, and therefore, can not stop these Ugandans who want to serve their country. Retiring will not be a problem.

JN- In other words you’re going to stand again in 2016. Are you a life president?

Museveni- JN, let us cross the bridge when we get there. I think we should focus on industrialisation and the East African integration process.

JN- But Mr president, do you think Besigye is capable of leading this country?

Museveni- If he becomes president, this country will retrogress. We can not allow that to happen. For example, he has been telling people that he is going to drastically reduce corruption with in five years, how was he going to do that? It has taken us 25yrs to increase it to its current levels, so how does anybody decrease it with in five years??!!!

JN- You seem to imply that corruption is good for this country Mr president.

Museveni- If a cow that gives you milk doesn’t feed well, it will produce less milk. To get it to feed, you must entice it with salt. In Runyankore we call it “ekisura”. In other words, what you people call corruption, for us in the NRM we call ekisura that greases people’s hands such that they do a good job.

JN- Is Besigye wrong to say he wants to eradicate corruption then?

Museveni- Besigye always wants to accomplish things fast. I think you’re aware that he deserted the liberation struggle, but to our surprise, we found him in Kampala with the first group of liberators drinking tea near the old Slow boat restaurant. He actually commanded that battalion, so you can say that he wanted to become president way back in 1986.

JN- So you do not trust him?

Museveni- How can you trust a man who promises a Sunami but then you end up with a La-Nina phenomenon?. How can you trust him when he wanted to give the Banyoganda a district states?

JN- Are you saying Bunyoganda doesn’t qualify for a district status?

Museveni- You can’t do that now, because the minimum requirement in terms of population to qualify for a district status is 25 people, habiting at least an acre of kabaka’s land. The Banyoganda number only 20 according to the last population census. To give them that status now will lead to the Cholangis in the north to agitate for theirs as well. As you might be aware, that action will require us to chop off some parts of Acholiland and Langoland to create a district for the Cholangi people.

JN- Back to corruption, so you do not want corruption to end, is that what you’re saying?

Museveni- Oh! nooo…, the NRM governement has got the will to end corruption, but of courses at a very, very slow pace to enable people to adjust properly.

JN- What do you mean Mr president?

Museveni- What I mean is that, with corruption in place, that is how the NRM succeeds, and not how it fails. For example, how else would I have managed to remove these restrictive term limits?

JN- Are you admitting that you have failed on corruption?

Museveni- Of course not. It is not how you start but how you end that matters. In 2062 corruption will be a thing of the past.

==============================================================================

In my next series, I will interview the president on oil in Bunyoro and the economy in general. Stay tuned.

%d bloggers like this: