Category Social issues

UGANDA’S DISAPPEARED MORAL COMPASS


By Bobby Alcantara
Dr Ugandans,

Have you ever cared to wonder about Uganda’s collapsed moral compass? It seems we now live in a lawless jungle where norms of civiilised behaviour, such as honesty and integrity, and respect for the elders, are now just irritating reminders of a golden age long gone.

Take my example. I am not a rich man, but I try to help people in my village because they are the real family I have, even though I have not seen most of them since I was a teenager. Apart from my own family, I currently help a number of poor people in my village, mainly the elderly and aged or the very sick who have no income. I provide a basic income for them of about £15 per person, per month. I spend £600 of my monthly salary providing for this basic income for the poor in my village.

But last week, I sent some money to an old sister in law- she was married to my eldest brother who died many years ago in a motor accident and her children have since also died, so I support her because she has no other means of survival. She was a bit sick last week, so I sent her £100 ie Shs 490,000. She got the money, but gave it to a young man who was living with her for safe keeping. . He promptly announced the money stolen after only a few hours, and when she rejected his explanations, he beat her up so badly, causing serious injuries.. The poor woman has now left her own home, and is sheltering with my mother for fear of any further attack. In the meantime nobody there would help this woman when she was coming under this sustained, brutal attack by a young man.. Even the so-called police have not intervened as they want a bribe. . It is now left to me, here in London, to look for this thug and get him arrested and prosecuted. I am going to get him, make no mistake about this, but you can understand my disgust.

What has happened to our country? Where is the peaceful and respectful Uganda that I knew gone?

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Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about!


opprobrium
BY Daniel Wairiuko Macharia

My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn’t bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.
One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn’t get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.
After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn’t I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!
His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I’m really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn’t know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I’m crying because I’ve finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn’t reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

ADVICE TO COUPLES IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP OR DOING UN JOBS


This goes to men and women who abandon their families in Uganda and go abroad to look for money. If you truly love someone, you cant decide to leave them alone for so long, unless in avoidable circumstances like a Mandella in prison with a Winnie on a street alone. Please dont leave your partner alone for long. Life is not all about money and materials. You can be happy without them. It’s unfair to need sex when your husband is not around with you.

Sexual relationship is not just sharing physical bodies but it involves feelings and emotions. This is why some people who want to protect rationality are afraid of women because men’s relationship with women can lead to the knocking down of some strict rational attitudes. For instance, Auguste Comte, the French philosopher / sociologist who wrote about science and positive philosophy as the way forward for humanity, later in his life fall in love with a woman. This guy, with all his positive philosophy abandoned that project and started writing on the “healing power of love.” When the woman died, I think every week he will visit her grave as an expression of how she touched his life. Well, now when one finds himself in this situation, he is in another planet. I always laugh and reflect when I read books on social theory and come to this part of Comte — the healing power of love. It is hard to have relationship grow or build it in absentia. Even Durkheim said that for people’s faith to be sustained, they need regular rituals to renew. Interestingly apostle Paul made the same point in a different way.

BY MAYIMUNA NABAGEREKA

”Every married woman has at one time or the other been raped by the husband.”—-Miria Matembe


”Every married woman has at one time or the other been raped by the husband.”—-Miria Matembe

There are many incidences quoted to support that statement and I do subscribe to that school. According to most feminists and also some national constitutions especially from western countries including Canada, a husband rapes his wife when he has sex with her without her consent. If you do force your way without getting clearance from Mrs. Ssekajja for example, you commit rape and you will be charged like any other man who rapes another woman who is not his wife. You have to apply to her and get her permission to get those goodies. The same applies to the wives, if they want sex and you are not ready, she has to sleep looking at you without disturbing or else you accuse her of indecent sexual assault; she has to ask you gently and if you accept, then it is okay. Even when you turn on the bed, you have to do it carefully to avoid being misunderstood.
matembe
Sad to say it but that is the nature of equality of rights. It is good to be aware of these laws especially if you find yourself in some countries where such laws apply. I felt sorry for my Ugandan brother who found himself behind police bars in Toronto because he demanded for and got sex from his wife without her consent. We used to meet in same church and all looked fine until one day I met the guy when he had just been released on police bond. He narrated to me his ordeal and cursed Canada for such laws. I advised him to adjust accordingly since we are in Canada!

Miria Matembe is right; may be her vocal utterances and coarse voice which betray her, and may be failure to explain how a man can rape his wife, is where our leaders create problems to their constituents.

Still blaming Miria Matembe?

Peter Simon Via UAH forum

KIGONGO IS GOING TO LOSE PART OF HIS WEALTH TO OLIVE WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT


Haji Kigongo is a victim of his own stubbornness and stinginess. First of all, he relied on the advice of an in house, amateurish lawyer who could hardly come to grips with the intricacies of the case at hand, and whose relationship with his client is more of a dependence than anything else, and who, accordingly, could not look the man in the face and tell him the truth.

But even in the absence of this loophole, the man is so stingy that Olivia stood a better chance of plucking a hair from his pubic zone than squeezing a monetary settlement out of him. I don’t even think that there is a single person, be it the President or any reputed lawyer, that could convince him to part with even a small fraction of his wealth as settlement. Such is his stinginess that he can’t contemplate parting with even a small amount for anyone else on earth other than himself.

He may not have officially married the woman, but twenty years of cohabitation with the same person, whom you even held out to the general public as your wife, whose family knew you as her husband, who probably mothered some kids for you, and who was admittedly the driving force behind your businesses, speaks volumes of the existence a marriage of some form.

The Haji may curse and kick for all he cares, but, tragically, he’s losing a huge chunk of his wealth to his clearly embittered & estranged wife. But not only that, he’s losing respect and influence in society. I hope he doesn’t lose his life in the process.

RAJAB ALI VIA UAH FORUM

WOMEN ABOVE 40 YRS SHOULD LET THEIR HUSBANDS GET ANOTHER WOMAN


Olive kigongo

Olive kigongo


From the few books I’ve read, females lose a very big percentage of their sex drive once they hit 50, which also tends to coincide with their irritating menopause syndrome. The sex toy industry is vibrant, who buys them? women in their 40s up, because their husbands have long gone with women with “Ebitone / talents”.

Ironically, men do not lose the love for their young at heart partners, but keep on going even in their 70s, man….., these fellows can grind…….!! But this comes at a cost because it creates a sexual appetite imbalance between couples in that age bracket. The love for their significant other will not go away, because it was not built on the provision of sex alone, but other historical

Factors in the case of Kigongo. That is why you still see many of them living together, but with zero action in bed. Typically, they also tend to have very, very large beds…15×15 to permit them to imagine that, the wife is sleeping in Lubowa, and the husband is sleeping in Natete. Even though they are both in the same room, and on the same bed.

Once in a blue moon, they’ll copulate, but how they initiate it is very interesting. One of them asks the other, from their Lubowa domicile, “Munatuwako lero”?? How many of you?? There is only the two of them in the bedroom, but the choice of words tends to be plural. That feeling is conforting for both.

The introduction of Viagra has exacerbated matters, because these days older men have made it a point to keep on going.Until you read in Bukede that mzee Joseph Kintu died on top of a young woman while in a kintu in a lodge some where in Nansana. Men are most likely to look else where to quench this thirst, but women tend not to understand why, and men tend to underestimate the implications. Kigongo is a victim of this same argument.

But where there is demand, the solution is supply, but since the Olives of Uganda are less able to satisfy this demand, why do they complain when husbands look else where? It is all about “Muchuzi….muchuzi”, isn’t it?? Where is the muchuzi in these women?

Since men are visual creatures, and that is what makes them tick, isn’t it true that once you hit your 40s and married you should work a little bit harder to resist gravity? Did you see Luzinda’s pictures? Oops!!, I might end up sleeping on the veranda tonight. But OK, how would these misses look in a pair of lingerie for the UAH’s Mulindwa’s who like them at that age?

Let me tell you. Once a Ugandan female hits the 40s up, they no longer care, but become “things fall apart”. For them, everything begins and ends at looking good in the face.

Let Kigongo be!!

JOHN NSUBUGA VIA UAH

Couples should avoid courts,if possible, in case of Divorce!


The 30 year marriage between NRM Vice Chairman Al Hajj Moses Kigongo and his wife Olive Kigongo hit the rocks late last year.

The 30 year marriage between NRM Vice Chairman Al Hajj Moses Kigongo and his wife Olive Kigongo hit the rocks late last year.


It is always the lawyers who win in a divorce, Not the husband, nor the wife.

1. Divorce proceedings are adversarial and confrontational and turn the parties into enemies.If young children are involved, their lives are completely turned upside down because the parties will no longer be able to make sensible arrangements. Each wants to influence the children their own way. Each wants to hurt the other. My ex-wife for eg felt so embittered when the Headmistress of my primary school gave evidence in my favour in court, strongly recommending that I and not the mother should be given legal custody of the children even though Anna was only 6 moths old at the time.She went on to make many totally unfounded allegations against me, including attempted rape, domestic violence etc. The divorce turned us into such enemies that 15 years later I have never spoken to the woman again despite sincere apologies from her parents.

2. Whenever a couple step in court against each other, that is practically the end of the marriage, because court proceedings make no room for compromise but create animosity instead. Disputes that in the African setting are settled by the clan elders end up in court here in the UK with disastrous consequences.

3. Many women want to use the divorce courts to gain some advantage over the husband, without actually intending to divorce.

4. Many women have become materialistic and will feel embittered if they are excluded from the husband’s business. Many are motivated by a desire to grab the 50% share of assets.

5. Both parties will suffer great loss, whether in business or their careers. Having an unstable home environment has a terrible effect on a person’s performance and career progression. I consider it a minor miracle that I managed to bring up two children under 2 years of age completely on my own as a single parent and maintained a career and passed my law exams at the same time.

Very few men have ever achieved this feat. For two years, until she was 4, Anna went with me to work in the Law Centre in Paddington where I worked. My employers agreed to allow her to attend the creche that we run for children of clients. So my daily routine was to wake up at 6. AM get George and Anna dressed and fed, jump in a car to drop George in a nursery in Lewisham at 8 AM, drive along Old Kent Road to Paddington with Anna, work until 5 AM, rush home to pick up George before 6 PM (fine £15 per hour), do home work and read their bed time stories and put them to bed by 9.30 PM sharp. And then study for my law exams up to 3AM, waking up at 6AM to the same routine. And I did this day in and day out. I only had breaks when my two sisters came and took the children for alternating one week each month. Anna developed a habit of walking upstairs to my office, sometimes if I had to go to court, or attend important meetings,, my boss would take Anna to her home and work at home.I am very proud of the fact that I brought up my children on my own without much involvement from their mother, she only reconnected with them when they were 12+ and going to secondary school and could live relatively independently without all round parental attention. But this is not a situation I would wish on anyone else. My second wife, a black Caribbean woman found it very difficult to live with a man so dedicated to his children. I totally rejected her ultimatum to choose between her and Anna Maria. I had got so used to my children that another woman could not fit in my life again. I told her I would never leave my children for any woman in the world.

All my children have now left home for University, but I have no interest in having a wife again, I just do not have the energy any more. I might be tempted if I returned to Uganda or went to live in the Philippines permanently.

5. In the UK, as you must have noticed, even the government has now realised that Divorce is one of the greatest threats to social stability. It is at the root of child poverty. Today the government itself encourages couples who want to divorce to avoid going to court at all costs. It encourages Family Mediation and has poured a lot of money into this. Chances are that trained counselors will help couples look at their marriage critically and then decide whether divorce is the right option to take. The retired head of the Family Division, the branch of the High Court that handles divorces, wrote a very critical paper condemning the failure of the court over which she presided for over 20 years. She recommended the government to make Mediation compulsory. In the 20 years she sat in the Family Courts, she concluded 85% of the marriages could have been saved if they had gone through mediation Everyone looses in a divorce. I lost my house and as well as £150,000 in lawyers fees in my court battle with my ex-wife. But she never benefited from it at all as she has since lost the house in dubious deals with fellow Nigerians and is back living in a Council house.

If you have the ear of Mr and Mrs Kigongo, try to get them to go down the mediation route, even if at the end of it, they decide to divorce. They will find they will keep their dignity and respect and avoid washing all their dirty linen in court. It is obvious that Mrs Kigongo wants to undress Mr Kigongo and will not hesitate to do so unless sense prevails. I still maintain contact and communication with my second wife because we agreed to seperate on good terms. I simply told her I love my children more than I love her, and this is the truth. I told her if she forced me to choose between Anna and herself, then I would choose Anna without any hesitation at all. So we decided to end the relationship.

PS: I am not talking about For Profit Marriages where women marry for the money and not for love. You can always sense a marriage of convenience from a distance if you are a reasonably astute man. I am talking about marriages such as those of Paul McCartney whose one legged wife walked away with £20 million after two years of marriage. I don’t think Olive is a gold digger after 30 years of marriage, but even the head of the most steadfast women can be turned these days by the allure of money as well as revenge.

George Okello via UAH
LONDON

Free Legal advise to the Kigongos:Married or not married, Mrs Kigongo has a legal and enforceable claim on Mr Kigongo’s assets!


Olive-Kigongo1
I have had a quick look at the Moses Kigongo Vs Olive Kigongo case and below is my unsolicited legal opinion ( I am putting on my legal hut not the philosophical one on this occassion).

1. If as Mr Kigongo avers Mrs Kigongo has never been a shareholder in the company, she would not therefore have any access to membership rights, eg petitioning to wind down the company. It is only the shareholders, Registrar of Companies or the High Court that can make such petitions, in the case of the High Court in exercise of its powers of recovery under Recovery of Proceeds of Crimes legislation (asuming a court has resolved Kigongo is a fully paid up member of Ali Baba Museveni’s Gang of Forty Thieves, and has been convicted of criminal offences involving financial impropriety or dishonesty).

Mrs Kigongo therefore will be required to provide proof of her shareholding in the company to avoid her case being summarily dismissed.

2. It is possible for Mrs Kigongo to claim that the respondent company transferred shares to her in an unwritten agreement. Oral agreements are valid in law- the only obstacle is that Companies law requires the names of all shareholders to be declared in a statutory form and so I dont think this is a very viable angle for Mrs Kigongo to pursue. There is in fact a procedure for allotment or transfer of shares, contained in the Company’s Articles and Memorandum of Association, which must be adhered to, for eg such declaration needs to be done at a Shareholder’s meeting ( Annual or Special) and filed with the Companies Registrar and I don’t think Mrs Kigongo has any evidence of this.

3. Mr Kigongo is barking at a wrong tree with the laughable claim that a woman he has been living with for two decades is not his wife.This is a woman with whom he sired two children, whose children from a previous relationship he adpted and brought up as his own , and who, until recently, was studiously fulfilling her conjugal duties to Mr Kigongo.

There are many methods of contracting a legal marriage, and these include ceremonies before an authorised marriage registrar; before a minister of religion for eg in a church, mosque, synagogue, temple etc, and by by customary law . But a couple can also be married by Common Law even if they have never undergone any of the above. Mr Kigongo had better check out the legal status of common law marriages in Uganda, because they are definitely valid in the UK and most Commomwealth jurisdictions. So long as a couple have passed themselves off as husband and wife, behaved as husband and wife, and been recognised as husband and wife, then a common law marriage exists, especially where the relationship has been in existence, to the total exclusion of all others. Mrs Kigongo will argue Mr Kigongo led her to believe she is his wife and she behaved accordingly by excluding all other men or admirers from her affections or intimacy.

So, on the basis that she is the estranged but still the legally married wife of Mr Kingongo, Mrs Kigongo is entitled to a beneficial claim in his shareholding in the company as well as in the rest of any interests he acquired during the marriage.

4. Married or not married, Mrs Kigongo has a legal and enforceable claim on Mr Kigongo’s assets. This claim however should be handled under the relevant laws of Divorce. The common law position is that, upon divorce, a spouse is entitled to a half of the beneficial interests of the other spouse acquired during the subsistence of the marriage, from the time that they got married. The court is likely to take this view as Mr Kigongo avers in his affidavit that Mrs Kigongo was Managing Director and was the one principally responsible for runnning the business. Even if Mrs Kigongo had nothing to do with the running of the business, the court would still be duty bound to make a financial settlement that allows her to retain and maintain the standard of living she is accustomed to.

5. Mrs Kigongo would be advised to file a separate Civil case of Unfair or Unreasonable dismissal from employment under the relevant employment laws that protect employees from unlawful actions by employers. It is clear that Mr Kigongo’s actions as a majority shareholder have been vengeful and vindictive and therefore unlawful causing Mrs Kigongo both financial hardship and psychological trauma.

6. Regarding allegations of running the company negligently so as to incur huge losses, again this is in the nature of business that Mr Kigongo would have to prove at the Employment/Industrial Tribunal. It has nothing to do with the ownership or lack thereof of the Company unless Mr Kigongo can prove fraud, theft, robbery, or other form of criminal malfeasance, hence pursing the criminal route.

PS: I have not only handled many divorce cases but have fought a divorce petition myself in the High Court and settled a second one out of court. My personal experience of litigating domestic matters in court is that neither husband nor wife emerges as the winner. Both of us lost in the first divorce because we have never never met again more than 15 years after the divorce, whereas we both won in the second divorce since we both communicate and maintain a civil relationship in the interests of the child.

My professional fees for this is at my normal rate of £300 per hour= and I have spent one hour on this.

George Okello Via UAH
London

Desire Luzinda’s photos taught youths about Kiganda culture of visiting Senga.


Desire Luzinda

Desire Luzinda

We all love culture. In Buganda a woman will not be considered fully grown, ready for marriage until she has leaned lessons from senga. And Desire Luzinda sends a lear message that girls must learn our culture like she did.Therefore there is a good side in her revelations.Banyoro have their version of Senga which is built around songs of the Orunyege and amakondeere. The girls sing sexy songs partnered around traditional/ cultural Orunyege and amakondeere melodies. They are very melodious.

These cultures are dying because people like Rev Lakodo, the minister, ignorantly term them criminal pornography. As a reverend he is very ignorant about these things. Indeed, he will die without ever knowing the sweetness in them

In fact the Rev Minister is an enemy of Ugandan culture. Also an enemy of nature. God created these things to be enjoyed by the human race. But the Minister has incriminated them.

These Banyoro songs were taught by Banyoro iswenkazi(sengas) at very confidential locations, like Baganda take their girls at secretive bush(okukyalira ensiko) to be taught in the art of sex so that they can please their husbands. From what Desrie posted on the internet, she must have learned the art very well. Hence her song EKITONE nina AMAKULA.

The Banyoro iswenkazi train our girls in the art of marriage which Rev Minister calls criminal pornography. Perhaps Rev Joseph Kamugisha can prevail upon Rev Likodo to allow genuine training of our girls in the art of sexual performance and he does not brand it pornography.

Indeed, even my book, THE REVOLUTION OF UGANDA’S SEX STYLES CANNOT PRODUCE THE EXACT TERMINOLOGIES AND ILLUSTRATIONS I had originally intended to publish for the training of our people.

So, briefly, Banyoro have their version of senga, known as iswenkazi, and ours is melodious and arouses men instantly. Thesedays Banyoro girls have learnned to do what Desire Luzinda did. So, congratulations to Desire Luzinda for being courageous enough to tell the youth that Kiganda culture is worth living.

The day Rev Likodo will lift the description of iswenkazi’s job as criminal we shall record and sell vedeos of iswenkazis bedroom songos


Henry Ford Mirima
Kibuli, Kampala

DID YOU KNOW – LIFE FACTS.


1. Even when you’re mad, think before you talk. The words you say can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

2. The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

3. Life has so many different chapters. One bad chapter does not mean it’s the end of the book.

4. Regret nothing and don’t let people bring you down.

5. Every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

6. If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.

7. Don’t waste your time on revenge. Those who hurt you will eventually face their own karma.

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