This is the Real Reason why Museveni has lasted that long in power!


Nobody could have imagined that Museveni(YKM) would stay that long especially given Uganda’s history. He did it because he personalized the military, which is still on his side.But he also did something to buy peace-read, hoodwink Ugandans. He gave them space to do anything but oppose him or take up arms. He gave them a lot of leisure to roam around doing nothing productive. He talked tough against colonialism and its policies as oppressive and backward. So he did away with poll tax to win favour with the working class men in Uganda.

The majority of Ugandans seem to suffer from a false sense of consciousness so they celebrated even though YKM was actually undermining their self dignity and worthy in Ugandan society. YKM has lasted because many delusional Ugandans wrongly believed he gave them a free ride in life. Wapi. There is no free lunch. YKM remains president as many now languish in bad state.Uganda comes close to the tragedy of the commons.

Uganda is also a puzzle. YKM remains popular among rural masses and some elite not interested in politics who adore him as their “Mzeei”. The mases are generally happy. Once formidable opponents such as Dr Besigye are not sure anymore.

See what happened to the hapless and charismatic challenged JPAM. Who talked tougher than JPAM? Who gave false sense to Ugandans that he had a lot of support and foolishly that many in the army were on his side than JPAM?. What happened to him once he entered the race?

In Ugandan speak, he was exposed. Then Ugandans belatedly realized he was bure as they come. He is actually a coward, a free rider who hoped to ride to power on the hard work of others. Hehehe.

It is now new players but same story. Ugandans are something else. Full of kajanja and honestly lack seriousness.

Now can YKM change and transform Ugandan society for the better? He keeps on saying the headwork was to sort out the army. Not really. That was the easy part. The hard work is how he or anyone can or will reverse the attitude biased towards leisure in Ugandan society.

Sadly and regrettably, Uganda does not have a Mwai Kibaki in its opposition ranks. What Mwai Kibaki did to the Kenyan economy is truly transformative. He could have easily grown the economy perhaps ten times what it was when he took over from Nyayo. And what did he emphasize to Kenyans? Mulipe kodi/pay taxes.

So the question remains. In the words of Immanuel Kant , who will cure Ugandans of their immaturity?

Who is Evelyn Anite, the minister ready to die ‘with’ mafias?

Evelyn Anite Kajik, is a journalist by profession. She is the State Minister of Finance for Investment and Privatization in the Ugandan Cabinet. She was appointed to that position on 6 June 2016.

President Yoweri Museveni is so fond of Anite and he usually refers to her as his daughter. Previously, she served as State Minister for Youth and Children. She was appointed to that position on 1 March 2015, replacing Ronald Kibuule, who was appointed State Minister for Water Resources.

She also serves as the elected Member of Parliament representing the Youth from Northern Uganda, a position she has occupied since 2011.

Anite was born on 11 November 1984, in Adakado Village, Koboko District, to Steven Dravu, a civil servant, and Sarah Wokoru Dravu, a businesswoman.

She attended Arua Hill Primary School for her elementary school education before joining Saint Mary’s Ediofe Secondary School for her O-Level studies. She transferred to Muni Girls’ Secondary School, for her A-Level education. She holds the degree of Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication, awarded by Uganda Christian University in 2008.

Right out of high school in 2005, Anite started working as a radio presenter on a radio station in Arua, continuing in that capacity intermittently until 2007. Beginning in 2006 and continuing until 2010, she worked as a radio presenter at Uganda Broadcasting Corporation in Kampala, Uganda’s capital and largest city.

From 2008 until 2010, she worked at the Uganda Media Centre as the Public Affairs Assistant for International Relations. In 2011, she contested for the parliamentary seat of Youth Representative for Northern Uganda. She beat nine other candidates to win the seat.

Anite is married to Allan Kajik and together, they have one daughter.


By Saasi Marvin

I watched a video of Gen. Museveni calling Katikkiro Charles Peter Mayiga a liar because Mayiga criticised Government’s move to require #Coffee farmers to have licenses. M7 claims that coffee farmers will just be “registered” but not “licenced”. I have had the opportunity of studying the National Coffee Bill 2018, and I can confidently say that M7 is the LIAR in this national conversation. Here’s why:

Clause 26 (1) of the Bill provides that the National Coffee Authority ‘SHALL register all coffee farmers’ in Uganda. This literally means that unregistered farmers will be growing coffee ILLEGALLY. Clause 1 defines a coffee farmer as ‘a person who grows coffee for commercial purposes.’ How many people have really been growing it for domestic purposes?

Clause 26(2) says that a person can only be registered as a coffee farmer IF, among others, the Coffee Authority has evaluated the land on which the coffee is to be grown and found that land suitable for that purpose. In other words, no person will be allowed to grow coffee unless they have a licence to grow coffee on a particular piece of land.

Clauses 35(1)&(3) say that the Authority shall issue a ‘coffee buyers’ licence, and that no body shall buy coffee without that licence. This means that even if you may grow your coffee illegally without Government’s approval, no body will be allowed to buy it from you without that person having a licence. Having that licence, by extension, also means that a coffee buyer will be breaking the terms of the licence if they purchase coffee from you the ‘unregistered’ farmer.

Clause 54 (1)(j) makes it an offence for any person to deal in coffee “for internal marketing” [whatever that means] without a licence. If caught, he/she is liable to a fine of up to UGX 960,000/=, or 2 years in prison, or both. In short, dare grow coffee without Government’s approval and you’ll see fire .

The mistake Gen. M7 keeps making while addressing the nation is that he imagines he is addressing the docile, unthinking and unquestioning lot that his cabinet is. The earlier he realises we’re not in 1986 anymore, the better for him. Liar. Gambler. Thief!

“Annoying the president” goes beyond the individual’s tolerance to anger

The habit of saying or posting things that are offensive or demeaning to the president, what is it intended to achieve and what is the law regarding that offence intended to achieve?
The most basic meaning of “to annoy” is to“make (someone) a little angry; irritate” according to the online dictionary. Synonyms include “vex, anger, exasperate, irk, gall, pique”.

Different individuals are annoyed or angered differently depending on a litany of factors including context and the existing relationship but, in general, irritating statements are characteristically unkind, demeaning, provocative, accusatory, vindictive, threatening and rude. The fact of an assertion being true does not take away that it can annoy. It matters how the concerned person is addressed; the message matters equally as the forum.

If, for example, I wished to blame or accuse someone of failing to meet their part of a bargain or an accord or to respond to something they did or said about me, if I write a private email or use my phone or inbox to address such a person, the addressee, will likely understand and respond constructively while admitting the problem. He or she would have an opportunity to pour their heart out without fearing that what they will be misconstrued or that their dignity will be brought into question around prying eyes.

On the other hand, if I addressed the person in public, amongst friends, family and even strangers, the same person would be so disappointed owing to the great embarrassment among relations that they would have suffered. Remember that some of the details may be sordid or graphic!

Most severe fallouts and those that have led to acts of vengeance are those where parties involved have washed their dirty linen or said unkind things to or about others in public without an amicable settlement in sight. Reputation is sacred and brittle; once damaged it can never be restored. Untruths or scandalous material about people run faster than truths and modest statements and when dealing with crowds, whose very judgment and rationality is difficult to quantity, it is more complex. Some are gullible while others are adamant and will want to rub in the scandalous thing or rumour or representation they have heard about others and they will take action in reaction to the same.

In the case of a president, their position as a “fountain-of-honour” would have been eroded; their standing, generally, would have been lowered; it could affect how they execute their job as relations with juniors would be compromised. It doesn’t matter the individual holder’s tolerance for abuse. It is the office under attack, its image and efficacy left in tatters. It depends on the influence of the individual alleging things about them and their own reputation or the remedies that the “offended” has.

Usually, the best test of the annoyance inducing levels of a statement is to subject the one hurling such invectives to the same treatment. They will not like it because their intention was to cause pain to the person they hate. Nobody says unkind and demeaning things to or about a person they like or care for. To insult is to subject someone to psychological and emotional pain, with a possibility of getting physical given chance.

By Atuhairwe Robert via Ugandans at Heart (UAH) Community

How users harness language reveals their intentions towards those they ridicule or hold in scorn. That is why one way the secret service goes about organising a visit of the US president anywhere is to look out for persons in the particular area set to host the president and what they have recently said or posted about the president. As much information about them and their connections and networks is gathered; they are monitored closely. In case something sinister happens to the President during the visit, investigators must, as a rule, interview such people to determine if they had a connection to the incident.

What we say about others counts a lot more than the effect it has on them because we give away our ill intentions about them and place ourselves in the weighing scale-how we were brought up, schooled, our peers and so on. There is also an element of incitement to others.

Language is a weapon and the law acts as guide and guarantor of remedies to the offended, but the most important is moral law. Insult is not synonymous with criticism! When a president is demeaned and called names, the inference is that the whole country which he or she leads is what the president has been described as being. Feel sorry for the ordinary citizen who can only be regarded as much lower and undeserving of any dignity and esteem!

I dont think Bob Wine knows the concept of people power

Bobi Wine and his wife at their Beach in Uganda

By Bobby Alcantara via the UAH forum,

I dont think Bob Wine knows the concept of people power. It is the same as wearing the red beret of Che Guevara without understanding its meaning. Che Guevara’s red beret, which he himself borrowed from Chairman Mao, represented a complete rejection of society as it is currently organised, and its violent overthrow using armed struggle. Che never believed in elections, something Bob Wine is focused on. Equally, the People Power Concept rejects elections. It looks at elections as essentially an exercise in legitimising the status quo. People power focuses on extra legal and illegal methods to bring about change that cannot be brought about using legal or constitutional means, but without resort to violence. People Power aims to overthrow an exiting government or status quo using mass protests, demonstrations, strikes, and civil disobedience but without resorting to armed struggle. Elections as Bob Wine is focused on does not feature in any people power struggle. Sadly, Ugandans have a habit of copying things they dont understand or have have no clue about.

Don’t be surprised that musicians, comedians and even select members of the riff raff have now come into serious contention to be elected as leaders, including president. The fact that an empty-headed fraud like Bob Wine is also aiming to be elected president of Uganda should not surprise you. I did write a piece on this possibility,which I posted here on UAH, but it did not attract any interest although it was exported to other non-Ugandan fora, and generated a lot of debate.

One significant explanation for the rise of the non-politician and non-intellectual into politics is the deep disenchantment, distrust and even hatred that many people in most parts of the world have towards the political class. Whether of the left or of the right, throughout the world, people are rejecting established or establishment political parties and choosing virtual unknowns to become their leaders. Nearly everywhere in Europe, establishment parties are losing out to nationalist far right parties because they feel abandoned by the establishment parties. Donald Trump also benefited from this dissillussionment of the American voter with the political class represented by both the Democratic and the Republican parties.

Armenia has recently also had a non-politician elected as president. Nikol Pashinyan came to power in May 2018 after weeks of mass protests against corruption and cronyism. The former newspaper editor, who was jailed for fomenting unrest in 2008, marked a dramatic break from the cadre of rulers who have run Armenia since the late 1990s after the collapse of the Soviet Union. And so has a lawyer with almost no political experience been elected president in Slovakia. Anti-corruption candidate Zuzana Caputova won Slovakia’s presidential election, making her the country’s first female head of state. Ms Caputova, who has almost no political experience, defeated high-profile diplomat Maros Sefcovic, nominated by the governing party, in a second round run-off vote. She framed the election as a struggle between good and evil, but otherwise did not have any other policies or programmes.

But most captivating is the predicted victory of Volodymyr Zelensky, a comedian and actor who stars as the Ukrainian president in the comic play Servant of the People in the on-going Ukraine elections. Zelensky has effectively run an “anti-campaign”.

The danger ofcourse with electing protest or single issue candidates is what they are going to do with the power that they will inherit. Without a political party or organisation to back them up, how will they deliver even the very few policies they have promised? It is one thing being anti-corruption, but what policies do you have for fighting corruption, and who are your enforcers?

So Abbey Semuwemba is right about Bob Wine, being afflicted by vanity, but I think his experience follows what is happening elsewhere in the world where the population has been exposed to so much suffering, they can’t think properly and just want change. I can say it perfectly and with humility that no ordinary Ugandan who has his thinking cap on would elect an uneducated person like Bob Wine, to even the MP position he currently occupies, leave alone president of the country.


By Hussein Lumumba Amin via UAH forum
Fellow citizens,

Some of you might remember last month when I questioned how the Auditor general, the Attorney General, his deputy and the appointed company Administrator could all agree not to conduct an audit of Uganda Telecom Limited yet also claim to be looking for an investor for the company.
The simple fact I stated against this advisory was that any international businessman investing in any company would first want to know it’s true present state, and therefore establish it’s true current value before buying into the business venture with their hard earned cash. How will a purchasing price be established and negotiated without a full audit of the company and a full physical verification of that audit by the interested investor?

This is Africa! A continent where due diligence is the most precious commodity in business.
Finally now State House seems to be coming to their senses on this matter by also demanding that the state company be audited.
However it is shocking that anti-investment advisories and practices were what an entire government was ignorantly and/or deliberately pursuing in broad daylight, possibly for ulterior corrupt purposes until someone raised the alarm publicly. Yet these are officials appointed and mandated to see the success of the service delivery for which state companies were established and maintained decades ago by previous governments to serve the people of Uganda.

Had private telecoms companies not been around today to provide telecommunications, internet and ICT services, clearly a corrupt regime can not be depended on for the delivery of the service to the people of this country. It is therefore also quite foreseeable what will happen to the new UTL plan to build a smartphone assembly plant. First of all which customers trust their brand anymore in Uganda today compared with all the global competition that exists in the smartphone market as we speak, most of which are readily available with the countless retailers across the country at affordable prices.

Which makes me wonder if government first conducted a market research and business plan before taking the decision to probably waste billions of taxpayers money by starting to assemble UTL smartphone’s for the local and regional market. Or was it just for the temporary political colloquial prestige that “Museveni assembles smartphone’s”. If that is the thinking behind the so-called “Uganda’s new ICT Revolution”, I hope market realities sink in before it’s too late.

A revolution is a paradigm shift where we think big and ahead so as to make the giant strides required towards a new competitive level in not only the product but also it’s market.
I am not an empty head who is just politicking for cheap popularity by always attacking any and all government actions.
Many so-called activists and politicians out there are unable to table simple, credible workable solutions that move the country forward.
For that matter, and bearing in mind that Uganda is already partnering with Chinese giant Huawei to establish it’s ICT infrastructure, and Huawei being one of the global leaders in developing 5g networks, call me and I would introduce concerned officials to a new company that has just produced the first 5g smartphone in the western hemisphere. Together, the 5g ICT infrastructure and the 5g smartphone are meant for each other.

The new smartphone product comes equipped with record-breaking storage capacity of 1TB, meaning users will never run out of storage, and a 4K ultra high-definition screen.
It has a sleek design, and will also come with magnetic resonance capability, allowing users to charge multiple smart appliances from a Super Base Charger. It is also built to work on every mobile operator in the world, comes with waterproof capability, strong data security features and is said to be the most technically advanced device today for the most affordable price.
These are features of interest to todays customers in Uganda, in the region, the continent and even around the world.
And may make them purposely choose this particular product over another leading competitor’s product. Why can’t we think of competing at that level?
Being a new little-known company, the maker of this product is surely keen on making market inroads internationally so as to take a share of the global smartphone market from today’s market leaders.

For the record, this new company is black-owned. Which is a fact that might help God willing since we are all from the same mother continent and there are many good people out there who want to do something meaningful and productive with the industrious, entrepreneurial and hardworking people in Africa.
In any case we would be better off discussing assembly plant partnerships and technology/skills transfer with such advanced companies and their products.
What I am saying is that we not only have to style up in our thinking, Uganda’s national ICT vision and policy has to be big, bold, and innovatively market- driven, rather than just dash to assemble some endobo smartphone for political reasons when even Ugandans themselves might choose to forego our current cride endobo smartphone assembly project from the onset simply because there are so many other similar, better, more reliable and/or more affordable products on the maket already. Basically an already saturated niche.
Meanwhile, the reported looting of UTL assets (and land) by the corrupt regime might not allow for any visionary futuristic thinking. In fact they seem to be busy collapsing the company for personal gain rather than building it to greater sustainable heights. The corruption rot, though known to the public, might not get a chance to be expunged and people held accountable unless the Auditor General now conducts a proper, much needed full audit of the state company. In fact having compromised himself in his controversial advisory against an audit, it might be prudent to ensure that a new external neutral party conduct an independent audit on his behalf for purposes of transparency and credibility of the process.

Signed: Hussein Lumumba Amin


Abdullah Kitatta (holding microphones) addressing Boda Boda cyclists during an NRM rally.

By Edward Mulindwa via the UAH forum,

Some of You are blaming the National Resistance Movement(NRM)- an organisation that has absolutely nothing to do with Uganda’s failure, NRA/NRM simply found a failed state and it helped to keep it together, until when the organization stops to lead Uganda, and then we will go right back into the Lule/UNLA/UNLF days, which will run for a few days and then Uganda will stop being a state. Mark those words.

And do you know why? Because from get go the people that took power from the British, mainly Langi and Acholi plus a few Baganda in Mengo, built an education system that has one single failure, educate Ugandans to become job seekers than job makers.

Every crap that got educated right from 1962 onwards, continued with the education the British forced in Uganda, to educate a few so that they can work for the British colonial masters than Uganda the state. Every Ugandan that become a police officer must be separated from the people and thrown into a barracks for he arrests the criminal Ugandans and bring them to the colonial masters. In United Kingdom, the population is educated to work for themselves, Police officers live in homes within the community they police.

The 1962 independence only replaced the colonial masters with the sitting government, Uganda still educates its population to work for the government than for themselves and the country, and police officers to today in 2019, 57 years down the independence alley way, Uganda police officers are still living segregated, from the population for they are an oppressive arm of the government, against the population. If it was not for Iddi Amin, may the president rest in peace, women would never have served into Uganda Police, for the UPC cabal, incorporated the British nonsense that all police officers must be men of this height and width.

As the colonial education system was created to protect the colonial masters, today’s Uganda education system continues to protect the sitting government. Look closely at the people that hate Iddi Amin the most, for he tried to reverse the colonial master system in Uganda, they are degree holders like Gook, Edward Pojim, Abbey Semuwemba, Allan Barigye and every crap that owns a degree today. Illiterate Ugandans never walked to Tanzania to train how to murder Ugandans, 99% were a product of that education system.

Who are/were the members of Boda Boda 2010, M23, Kihura Kifesi gangs, Kitata group, Sobi group, Nakivubo group? They are not foreigners in Uganda but Ugandans born in Uganda and ran through that very same education system. They are all degree holders. And even those that have managed to leave Uganda and live abroad, many are actually struggling in diaspora for they try to work for the government and the system throws them out, that is why you see them coming back again in Uganda as Bob Mushikori did, as Grace Galabuzi today so called professor returns to Uganda. Can you tell me what were their jobs in Canada !!!!!!

99% of Ugandans living on welfare in western countries are actually degree holders, they came here with Makerere, Buddo or what have you degrees, continued to be educated into the universities here to get more degrees, then failed to get employed for they could not be employed by governments here, then either return to Uganda way back as Harold Achema did or as late as Galabuzi has just done. By the way they all leave their families here for the kids get a different education system. The ones that remain out here are moving from city to city, from municipality to municipality feeding on various welfare checks. Every single name I have mentioned here that has decided to return to Uganda has actually worked or tried to work for the government here, either in Federal Municipal or provincial and ran back to Uganda after failing to do the firkin job, that list actually includes “Professor” Abdul Kasozi as well.

And all I am pulling in here is that those Ugandans never failed here due to the NRM regime, they failed in diaspora due to the kind of education the UPC government incorporated in Uganda, which we are still feeding on to today. That education system is going to remain intact when NRM expires.

But that system has created two major problems for Uganda.

i} It has created a whole bunch of idiots that you will have a problem to reason with, few days ago UAH’s George Okello stood in a public forum and stated that president Trump rejected the Iranian deal for he hated president Obama. He was repeating a statement of a stupid diplomat that failed to clip his mouth thus lost the job, but there are so many factors out there why the Iranian deal was thrown out, than Obama. Iran is a bad country and they have proved themselves today by taking several ships. I decided to post a piece with reasons why the Iranian deal is bad. George Okello’ never responded, he dropped the noise out and kept quiet. How much did he know about the deal to start with? Or he read the ambassador’s statement and started wanking himself in a public forum? -> Just asking !!!!

Doesn’t it bother you that all Uganda degree holders support the Democrats? Yup when you post anything to state the facts about the Trump administration, Abbey Semuwemba walks in naked to nip it off his forum for that is anti-Democrats. So in his brain Abbey actually believes that all Americans are entitled to free Medicare, free education, not pay any taxes, all immigration agents are members of Nazis group, every American must get a free 1,000 dollars a month from the government. And how shall we get all that paid? By taxing the rich. Really !!!!!

How long will you run that scheme to collapse? No that does not bother Abbey Semuwemba for his educational basics, do not prepare him to think thus far. So let us shut EM up for when he shuts up in the forum, Trump will fail to be re-elected.

Think back, just how many Ugandans do you know that are Republicans? Doesn’t that bother you a little !!!!! ->?

ii} That education system has not only created job seekers but it has created some of the very worst elements, we have some very terrible murderers of the Uganda origin in these countries that make your head spin, we have rapists that I have never seen before, now we have doctors in South Africa stealing firkin body parts, we have a Mukiga kid that split a head of a girl in the States with a firkin Axe. These are not things forced on Ugandans by NRM, these are Ugandans with screwed up heads for the education they got from get go failed them. They were born and brought up without Ubuntu.

I have stated all along that Acholi Lango region has the most fertile land on the entire African continent, they have a river of fresh water running through it, and they have produced the most degrees than any region in Africa. But in 2019 Langi and Acholi remain the most primitive people, they die of hunger than any other region, and to today, Langi and Acholi still shit on the jungle. That is not a crisis created by NRM it is an Acholi Langi sheer stupidity.

In the long run that stupidity is going to catch up with the entire population, you see when coffee plantation was brought to Uganda, Ugandans never grew it to earn foreign exchange, they grew it to buy Gomesi for their wives, and pay Omusolo omugereke, The UPC government used that plantation to earn foreign exchange, but it refused to grow it to a commercial basis. They sold it to the world market at high prices and used the money to pay for the education of the idiots we are suffering under today. Baganda destroyed the plantation and the degree holders lost the dollars thus today there is not a single Edward Pojim twerp getting free education out of Uganda.

When we advised them that free education is a trap that cannot survive, they killed us for we were wrong then. Today there is no coffee out of Bugisu growers and Gook’s relatives have no free education.

Look closely at the Matoke plant today, there are those of us cringing to understand why it has become a major export out of Uganda. Matoke is grown for home consumption than commercial feed. So why am I able to pick and choose in Toronto, a store where to buy it from? I can buy a box with biwagu or a box with straight minwe. As Baganda were growing coffee for Gomesi and Musolo, they are growing Matooke for Gomesi and Musolo. With time they are going to change from Matooke to growing Millet and making malwa out of it to get Gomesi and Musolo. That is going to make Matoke market out here collapse but it is going to create hunger in Uganda.

In all degrees we have in that shit-hole, including Sabassajja sitting in Mengo, there is not a single brain that has bothered about the exportation of Matoke that are not commercially produced. There is another problem, when you peel Uganda Matoke you have started to see black marks on them. Now today I can cut that piece out and throw it away, but I as well understand that this is not a black mark on Uganda Matooke only, it is a disease starting to eat the Uganda plant. As all degree holders are eating it, as the entire Mengo is laughing its head off for money is coming in, there is a disease eating the plant and with only times it is going to disappear, for no one is investigating it let alone stopping the disease. We are going to village after village and cutting it to trucks into Entebbe airport, to Ethiopian Air Lines into Toronto. It flies into here twice a week thus I demand to eat fresh ones only. I reject the premise that Uganda’s problem is NRM criminality it is the stupidity of Ugandans that is immortal.

The 1977 Beauty Contests were the best so far In Uganda

Abenakyo broke all records when she made it to the top five of the Miss World Beauty Pageant. The 22-year-old beauty also managed to bring home the first-ever Miss World Africa crown.

By Peter Gwokto via UAH forum,

The most pathetic excuse any one can use to distinguish enthicity in Uganda is skin tone or complexion. There are millions of Southerners who are darker than midnight – even darker than Besigye (who himself is past midnight). And there are millions of Northerners with light skin tone – whatever you Southerners rank as darker. It is better being referred to as dark skinned. This silly reference to skin-tone (something many of you have the audacity to term color difference) between northerners and southerners is the reason not a single Ugandan woman survives the first screening at the beauty peagent outside Uganda. Out there, reality strikes real hard when our national winner finds her chubby elephantine legs, shaggy door-lugging hips and her Cosby-wide nose will do her in on the first attempt faster than dessertfication of the Sahel. She just gives up on seeing the tall, red-skinned and white-teethed Himba girl from the most primitive part of Namibia, and the tall, dark and barely baldheaded Dinka or Shilluk from Sudan (just like Wek), the wirery Somalian girl with the skin-tone of an anthill, and the thin, healthy and voluptous-looking Wollof Senegalese. The common denominator for these God’s bits of wood is that they are as naturally beautiful as any species wants to be – this is God trying to outdo his own creation with another. Then, bring in the daughters of Labongo to deliver uncomprisingly thunderous results.

For obvious reasons, every Miss Uganda from the south or central is judged winner because she appears lighter than the northerner. The problem is that these southeners are selected by default (predetermined) instead of allowing Darwins theory of natural selection where the fittest is used to mean one endowed with phenotypic characteristics) .
To-date all the southern winners have been blowing it and ashaming the country for being booted on first attempt on a regular basis that Ugandan girls now fear winning the peageant show locally.

Folks, those swimsuits are not made for those famed Ugandan emfuta booties. Only Gadhafi used like them that way – and frozen, from Mountains of the Moon. There is a lot unmentionables to be discovered in these worrior female forms who once ruled Egypt. Now, I see all these todlers in the forum raisng eyebrows – of course, Nubians ruled Egypt for thousands of years until Alexandre brought pokopoko.

I remember as a young man (well, 14 is not really a young man in Uganda unless you are an alterboy) in primary watching a Miss Uganda peagent on tv at the Seargents Mess in Mbuya in 1977 (that’s one good thing with Amin’s regime; children were never killed or ‘safehoused’. Were it Kaguta’s time, this Acholi twit would be the youngest safehouse boarder for trespassing the barracks – at night). Guess who the winner was – Miss Karamoja, folks. Rosemary Nachuge, a student-teacher of Moroto TTC beat the crap out of the Namayanjas and Asimwes. That was the best peageant show I ever saw. The question periods were the most interesting – bwoyyy oh bwoyy ..! you should hear the Nalubegas, Nandutus and Karohoros murder English while Nachuge ranted it like it was her first languange. And she knew her geography, her history, her civics, her tourism, her Ugandan societies (unlike some MPs who graduate thinking Anyanya is a tribe in Uganda)… Please, ask UTV to rebroadcast this peagent and I swear you will believe what I mean. It was hosted at Silver Springs hotel. I remember it like it was yesterday. Above all, this K’jong UFO was da’bomb…! beeeeeeeeeeautiful, walahi…! For the cultural attire she wore K’jong soft goat-skin skirt embroidered with beads and cowrie shells and a beautifully beaded apron for the ‘front’ with red and yellow copper bangles – men were squinting so hard to see through the apron but were grievingly disappointed. The following day, my elder brother (kind’of father figure) actually took me to see and meet this K’jong – God’s last clay at a ‘muchomo firewoks’ at the home of then Min. of Info and Broadcasting, William Naburi. I was young with a bell-bottom wider than a winowing basket and got away with fluking many high-class parties.

Rosemary was – I still can’t describe her – was a goddess who surely fell from the skies – founder Kintu was just a fluker from Ssese island. The amazing thing is that not a single looser or tribe challenged her win because the proof was in the pudding folks – out in the open. I could have even been a judge and chosen the right one. She won high and dry.

Nachuge went back to finish school and teach but the next thing I heard – holie cow..! was that Maj. Abdallah Nassur was breathing down her neck as then Governor of Karamoja Province – I believe, at gun point. Well, he could have gotten away with it anyways because that time the Karachuna warriors didn’t have AKs and G3s yet. But I was the most-very disappointed studd.

Ugandans aren’t really divided!

By Peter Gwokto via UAH forum,

Ugandans have always been a united people. We are just not able to organize before some rotten mind comes from nowhere to add the tribal chemical formula to the unity periodic table. If you think Ugandans aren’t united, try inside the various tribes themselves. At least tribes fear each other but inside every tribe is a volcano of different issues imploding within with unimaginable intensity – clan squabbles, land issues, rebels, marriage, etc. We tend to overlook these Achilles heels yet, in fact, they are the reasons we become who and what we are in the broader incremental levels of society. If we can’t bring ourselves to resolve the most immediate how can we face up to the broader distant issues?.
Our precolonial elders, kings and chiefs tolerated one another and, above all, went to the point of helping and hiding one another. But they had a common enemy- distinctly foreign, distinctly white and distinctly un-African (as un-African as he could be) because anything African was condemned while the reverse was held civilized and holy. These days, the enemies don’t just look like us; they are us and are among us. Nowadays, my enemy’s enemy is my friend, literally – with Museveni being both the enemy and the friend to everyone and everybody, turning us against one another irrespective of a common language, culture, or shared region. Each time I think of this point, I am reminded of my Prof. Apollo Nsibambi(R.I.P); how he used to defend Buganda and wiggle his tail in the face of Obote’s government and specifically to Northern students in his class.

Former Prime Minister Apolo Nsibambi

Most of all,I am equally impressed by how Museveni silenced Nsibambi over the same issues by bottling his mojo in an Ankole milk gouard to the extent the professor started barking in a different language and from a different bush in Uganda. He was nakedly tail-less in the presence of his own people. I could be wrong – maybe he just saw the light and was trying to undo the Obote-time rhetoric.

I too, like many others in UAH, were ‘coerced’ by Abbey into joining the forum. I have received a few bruises myself and effectively delivered a number to edgy forumists. For some of us who have been browsing since Al Gore invented the internet, we have learnt resilience but above all, learnt to accept the views of others however lethal. Yet, above all else, we have learnt to open up. That’s why there are idiots in this forum who glean raw discussions and submit them as news to Uganda newspapers – papers who are just as stupid to publish them without verifying source and fact because there is an empty column to fill. There are over a million Ugandans registered in this forum including MPs and ministers. Probably they laugh at Ekkissodde and I doing the sibling rivalry thingi, sometimes talking serious issues and occasionally lynching each other with such ferocious verbal assaults only a spear or a gun could bring it to end. Yet I am reminded of many teachers telling students that the only dumb question is that which has not been asked. Well, that means the person harbouring the question is also dumb – so are the thousand silent ones on this forum. Afterall, we are known for electing MPs who do not know the country’s peoples and when, after nearly 20yrs in parliament and in their 40s, still refer to citizens derogatively and get away with ignorance as an excuse is a pathetic characteristic of illinformed electorates. Perhaps parliamentary candidates should be given written tests in social studies, history/civics, and geography to screen their understanding of Uganda before they invoke ‘ignorance’ as defence. I thought I once heard that ‘ignorance’ of the law (society) is no excuse for a crime/offence?.
In the West, it would be game-over.

“The north needs a leader that can unite all those groups to work together”. Not just the north, although I understand the emphasis. The unity must first accept our social, cultural, and economic diversity as well as the interdependencies and symbiosis. For the most part, politics in African traditional societies were a subdued affair and intertwined, loosely, with the cultural and economics fabrics of a society. African societies never entertained politics as it is today because of its divisive nature. Above all, when all is over and done, contemporary African politics often immunizes itself against reconciliation thereby breeding anger, contempt, hatred, etec. We watch as Clinton and Obama rip themselves with obviuos ‘hatred’ and contempt. But Western politics, unlike African politics, harmonizes itself immediately a leader in chosen.
With us, a loser countinues to be pounded even when he is flat on the ground, insults fly forever, and even at the helm of power the winner still wants the looser deader than dead because he challenged during campaigns. Finally, those of you in Kyeyoland should visit Ottawa and see how Ugandans live and interact with one another. You would want to ‘enforce’ this relationship in Uganda.

Well Done, Abbey-UAH has a place in the hearts of Ugandans & history of Uganda!

Good job, Abbey Semuwemba,

It is easy to shake up the system with organized, logical and critical assaults. UAH – I mean the forum, not the mysterious party – has been more effective at shaking up the establishment and the structures that support it than FDC, or at the very least, UPC and DP. So often, issues raised in this forum are treated with utmost expediency by the government than the screaming rhetoric of FDC’s nonsensical publishers in The Monitor or Observer.

SMACKS is getting it’s fair share of dealing with the fear of UAH (the forum). Little did any of you notice that when I criticized the Uganda Police website for its carbon-dated contents and a couple responded that the website gets updated with regime change, NRM nogooders in this forum actually confronted the police and they tore down the website the following day. Now the knows it is on UAH hitlist of the people’s Most Wanted for deliberate systemic failures. Someone, somewhere was getting his monthly pay for managing a website that didn’t live with the time, so was the webhost. The police also learnt that, such mundane crimes like theft of a laptop and embezzlement from a gas station do not deserve a webpage in the Most Wanted by any police establishment in the world as if to hide the fact that there are defilers, abusive spouses, rapist and Murderers lurking the streets of Uganda’s towns and villages.

In fact, the NRM government is now relying on UAH to ascertain its people weaknesses and failures. And to say the least, it believes what appears on UAH and reacts with incredible speed compared to the lifeless swipes by FDC. The irony of it all is that issues raised here are those the system should have been able to identify before hand – that’s what public service admins are supposed to do. UAH is giving free general consulting service to the government. My suggestion is that, UAH starts zeroing on those in authority for failures in the organs entrusted to their leadership instead of criticizing the organ at large. Its time they are forced to resign and met stiffer penalties – the consequences of a people’s frustration and determination. FDC’s complains are simply a bee-sting on an NRM that is not allegic to beestings. But UAH exposures are a thunderous elephantine crush whose immediate impact and reverbarations always paralyze the NRM.

I believe there are more NRM info gatherers gleaning policy strategies from UAH than the number of ISO agents tracking FDC panel-beaters. You should not be surprise that NRM agenda for 2011 will be based of visions compiled from policy expressions in UAH. Museveni, the only Ugandan visionary, has run out of Vision.

So, thanks Abbey.

By Peter-Rhaina Gwokto, a Ugandan resident in Canada
Remember: “Even a small dog can piss on a tall building”. Jim Hightower

%d bloggers like this: